MY LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT

Last week a potential business deal went awry. It started off so promising that it came as a surprise when we got to the ” not talking to you” stage.  Then it hit me: I understood what “suddenly” actually means. No warning and everything changes and that is what precisely happens to us all in life. There is nobody that had not been affected by “suddenly” no matter how innocuous the situation was.  Despite the experience of “suddenly” and seeing other people’s experience we fall prey to the aftermath. Yes, even “suddenly” falling in love can be avoided. Just look at the mess people become after it ends. Shouldn’t that be enough of a siren? But noooo, we prefer to believe bullshit like,...

BREASTS? WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT!

Having a mode of transportation can make you lazy. Even the shortest distances can seem like a hike when your mode is right in front of you. It takes discipline to use the stairs instead of the elevator and walk instead of drive. Anyway, I had started feeling “heavy” and decided to join the rank of those I see walking in the morning as I drive to work. I thought, instead of driving to lunch i’ld walk. It sounded like a great idea. First of all as I left the gate, the sun drove me back to get my sunshades. Luckily, the week prior I had invested in a pair. Bespectacled, I walked out of the gate and onto the sidewalk. After my experience from this walk, it became very clear that there is definitely a whole lot wrong with the black race and most...

WHEN FACEBOOK VISITED THE REPUBLIC OF LAGOS

It should have caught on by now that Lagos State is no longer with us. They have become a country within a country and like serious minded people they have not dealt with distractions like challenging the country with cession. They don’t even need to. There strong economy has even done that for them! They have not thrown a tantrum on anything. Neither have not been sitting in Abuja waiting for handouts, allocation or bailout money(which they politely turned down). Instead they have been deliberate and it is paying off. Just when we started cursing the curse of the black gold, they found some in their back yard and will soon start exporting to the UK; on top of everything else. *SIGH* Little wonder that Mark Zukerberg just faced Lagos. Time is money and money...

ESTHER AND CHIBOK (STOCKHOLM) SYNDROME

The name Stockholm Syndrome was derived from a 1973 bank robbery in Stockholm, Sweden, where four hostages were held for six days. Throughout their imprisonment and while in harm’s way, each hostage seemed to defend the actions of the robbers and even appeared to rebuke efforts by the government to rescue them. Months after their ordeal had ended, the hostages continued to exhibit loyalty to their captors to the point of refusing to testify against them, as well as helping the criminals raise funds for legal representation. ****************************************************************************************** I had no words for the news article reporting that one of the returnee Chibok girls wanted to go back to her “husband”. As...

WE DON’T REALLY CARE ABOUT US

“Insanity laughs under pressure we’re cracking Can’t we give ourselves one more chance? Why can’t we give love that one more chance? Why can’t we give love, give love, give love, give love, give love, give love, give love, give love?.. ‘Cause love’s such an old-fashioned word And love dares you to care for The people on the edge of the night And love dares you to change our way of Caring about ourselves” Those lyrics by Queen taken from their song, “Under Pressure” puts my article in perspective, though Freddie Mercury who was a talented tortured soul could have used the advice. While getting dressed for work, I remembered the banker who worked in First City Monument Bank (FCMB) and recently shot...

STATE OF THE NATION ADDRESS BY PRESIDENT MUHAMMADU BUHARI

“Countrymen, Friends, Nigerians lend me your ears” It is with mixed feelings I come to you. But come I must; I am your leader, your President. A little over a year ago you gave me victory; us victory. A little over a year later, you rue that victory and I dare say with good cause. Inflation. Prices have gone up and skyrocketing by the day. I see from the monthly budget Aisha sends to get housekeeping allowance. I have to send her back several times to readjust the budget. I hear that you are stealing each other’s pots of soup to feed your children. And Gas cylinders too since kerosine in now out of your reach. I am sorry to hear that the Federal Capital Territory is now being referred to as “Federal Cattle Territory”. I asked that...

KILLING THE INTERNALLY DISPLACED PERSONS(IDPs)

” I’m not afraid of werewolves or vampires or haunted hotels, I’m afraid of what real human beings do to other real human beings” Walter Jon Williams A couple of weeks ago we heard in the media that 200 children (and counting) had died in IDP camps due to starvation. Then the shouts started. How is that possible given the monthly allocation shelled out by the Government for the upkeep of the IDPs? Everyone turned and looked at Nigeria Emergency Management Agency (NEMA) the body primarily saddled with managing disaster on behalf of our humble selves. A frenzy. Then beans started being spilt. Apparently, some other horror story was going on. They had become nothing but an acronym; statistics and a cancer. Let’s back track a bit. The...

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