ONE KISS, ONE HUSBAND

This craze for a husband at all costs has got to stop. The indoctrination that a woman is incomplete without a man as a husband has got to stop too! First and foremost, the reason so many of us clamour for the husbands is to get that status symbol of “I am married”, you know how it is! When I saw the picture of naked well endowed single black women with a ‘pastor’ somewhere in the (Bahamas) kissing their arses so that they will get husbands by the seaside in the hot afternoon with on-lookers abi congregation members probably ‘speaking in tongues’ to scare the future husbands out of hiding, I was speechless and that’s a feat. Nothing had dumbfounded me in a long...

A POSSESSION TILL DEATH

Aunt Yetunde’s husband had been dead for 10 years now. I was just leaving university when he died and I could feel the pain of my four cousins losing a father, a parent who loved them. Luckily for Aunt, one was about to graduate university, two were in secondary school and the baby of the house was in primary school. Things weren’t quite easy for Aunt as she reared her children the best way she could. I sometimes wonder how she did it. I also wondered why she hadn’t remarried especially since in those 10 years Uncle Dare had lost his wife, dated, remarried and sired two children! I was proud of my mum as I heard her often check up on Aunt Yetunde. I felt comforted that if I was ever a widow, my in-laws would check in on me, make me feel less...

OUTSOURCING PARENTING

  I recently met a young lady who I got talking with. During our Get-to-Know-Each-Other-Session; she further spoke about a pet project she was working on and from the description; she was planning to start some sort of an executive Home Economics School targeting the Northern girls. That piqued my curiosity. She explained that she had been besieged by mothers complaining that their daughters were not domestic at all and this had prompted the idea to start the school. I commented that I hoped it was the mothers that were going to be her students! How can the mothers be complaining?? As the lady mused, she added that that was a major reason for men divorcing the girls they married because they just were totally lacking. Really how ridiculous. I didn’t find...

THE DEBATE-THE WOMEN SPEAK

The topic was random; it started off with the latest trend among young couples of sleeping in separate rooms. Apparently, it is a serious no-no for the couple to sleep apart except of course in a polygamous setting. Then the almighty topic of failing marriages came up and the discussion narrowed down the reasons to spoilt women and financial freedom. The discussion was evenly split. The ‘Women are spoilt’ group believed that our mothers’ level of tolerance was so high that they could catch their husbands in the act, calmly deal with the situation; by not dealing with the situation, carry on as if nothing happened and eventually record 40 years married! But the present generation of woman would have a fit and all hell would break loose if her man was as much...

THE MICHELLE OBAMA SPEECH

As I watched Michelle Obama give her speech at the Democratic National Convention in North Carolina USA; it was clear that here stood a confident, focused woman who knew exactly what she was doing. Wherever Barack was sitting, he must have been counting the hours down till when they got home when he would show her a thing or two about his gratitude! As I watched I became extremely saddened as I thought of my generation and the one behind; could we and would we ever replicate the power couple that is Barack and Michelle? As I watched, I noticed that the delegates to the convention understood that they were there for serious business. They were listening intently, understanding the content of the speech. I cast my mind back to especially PDP Conventions; the buzz...

A BED OF ROSES

Unfortunately we have been designed to need, want, depend and long for a significant other to ‘complete’ us. From the time our hormones kick in till they let us down, put us in trouble or make us delirious; we are on the prowl for who can fill that void and ache we feel somewhere inside of us. Majority of us have bungled this amazing mission of our lives. A number of unfair factors led to this sorry state of affairs. I say ‘unfair factors’ because as pawns in this game of chess called life; we are often clueless on which move to make, who and what to checkmate or even decide if that was a wise move. Invariably, this struggle, background, experiences, expectations shape us and often jade us. We then carry baggage with us around, harbouring mini-monsters...

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