MY LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT

Last week a potential business deal went awry. It started off so promising that it came as a surprise when we got to the ” not talking to you” stage.  Then it hit me: I understood what “suddenly” actually means. No warning and everything changes and that is what precisely happens to us all in life. There is nobody that had not been affected by “suddenly” no matter how innocuous the situation was.  Despite the experience of “suddenly” and seeing other people’s experience we fall prey to the aftermath. Yes, even “suddenly” falling in love can be avoided. Just look at the mess people become after it ends. Shouldn’t that be enough of a siren? But noooo, we prefer to believe bullshit like,...

THE ESE WALTERS’ CONFESSION

Yesterday (23rd August 2013), we woke up to read that a young lady had confessed to a sexual affair she had had with the Senior Pastor of COZA Abuja Chapter; Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo. The reactions were swift and basically divided along two lines; kudos to her for being brave enough to speak out and is this a case of ‘hell knows no fury than a woman scorned?’ I am indifferent to the whole saga for a number of reasons. I will be playing Devil’s Advocate in more than one way because the issue at hand has so many facets. While we have not heard the other side of the story to give fair-hearing, I will write as if the story is true. I am honestly not concerned with whether or not Pastor B as he is fondly referred to as; had red-hot-illegal-consensual sex with Ms...

THE MARRIED WOMAN’S DRESS CODE

The Bible Study was about the fallen state of man. We were now discussing things that the sinful flesh took pleasure in and adultery was on the front burner. I listened in disbelief as the Bible Study Leader gleefully told us about a colleague in the office that did not dress like a married woman and she had had to ask her where her husband worked; to which the lady had responded; bank. ‘No wonder’ was Auntie’s confirmed suspicions. I raised my hand and asked her the simplest most restrained question I could; ‘How did her dressing prove she was having an extra-marital affair?’ She mumbled something about decency and discerning who is and who isn’t a Christian; the expense and style of her clothes. I was livid. Church has really become tiresome. There...

DIRTY SEX, SACRED MONEY, CLEAN CHURCH (PT2)

I had started by being baffled at the Church’s attitude towards sex especially among its adherents. With the serious issues that abound concerning sex and the focal point it holds, you can’t blame me for wondering why the shrouding in mystery and avoidance of the subject matter. Curiously the Church will talk about money though; and lots of it. It devises programs all year round for this purpose; coaching sessions in the art of giving, creating opportunities for its members to give, delivering message after message on the need to line the pockets of the church. If you want a job, sow a (financial) seed; spouse?; Pastors’ Appreciation Day is just the right time; children? the bigger the gift in sacrifice the closer to an answer-a car, a house, tickets abroad...

DIRTY SEX, SACRED MONEY, CLEAN CHURCH (PT1)

The couple sitting in front of me made me feel silly. They were clearly older than I am. They had been referred by a friend who thought that my tell-it-as-it-is approach to issues might jolt them into some form of realisation and truth. I wasn’t sure(people are set in their ways; afraid of change). I was however pleasantly surprised that the man had agreed to met with me. From my very little experience men don’t like attending these sessions; you know; ego and all. After three kids, the man could still not look at his wife’s body in the full glare of any light. He didn’t also like the fact that she asked (politely) that she would like certain sexual things done to her. He complained that she liked to make noises while they were ‘Jerusalem...

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