HOW TO BE A WIDOW

A woman’s life from birth has always hung in the balance; the balance of a man’s world. Her existence has always been subject to a man. In itself the concept of the man taking the lead in a woman’s life is fine. After all there cannot be two captains in a ship. The person who provides in all ways and protects should take the lead. Taking the lead does not mean control or ownership. This lack of understanding and selective conditioning has led to many a-frustrating life for many women. When a woman gets married, she leaves her family, he leaves his family to be joined together and form their own lineage. If you get the partnership right, the two of you are destined to be together till death. Losing a loved one is not an easy thing to come to...

A POSSESSION TILL DEATH

Aunt Yetunde’s husband had been dead for 10 years now. I was just leaving university when he died and I could feel the pain of my four cousins losing a father, a parent who loved them. Luckily for Aunt, one was about to graduate university, two were in secondary school and the baby of the house was in primary school. Things weren’t quite easy for Aunt as she reared her children the best way she could. I sometimes wonder how she did it. I also wondered why she hadn’t remarried especially since in those 10 years Uncle Dare had lost his wife, dated, remarried and sired two children! I was proud of my mum as I heard her often check up on Aunt Yetunde. I felt comforted that if I was ever a widow, my in-laws would check in on me, make me feel less...

THE “NO MAN” SITUATION

Walking into the room it was clear that the common thread that ran between the four women was they all didn’t have male partners/husbands. In their similarity also lay their dissimilarities. The widow sat to the left of the divorcee while the separated sat to the right of the single female. Funke (real name withheld) sat in the middle. She was the only one married. She said she felt she completed the nice circle of five because even though she was married, she was “alone” The world relates to these women with a common denominator in very distinct ways. The fifth woman, who we refer to as a “married widow” is to be pitied the most in my opinion. She is with husband, yet without husband. Hers is a double...

search engine optimization